The State of the UnionBy
Thoughts & Opinion
By: Barry Small
January 27, 2014
Subject: The True State of the Union
I won’t be watching our beloved leader’s State of the Union address again this year. In fact every time I see either the liar in chief or his gold bricking wife on TV, I get this urge to vomit uncontrollably. There’s B. Hussein lying again…you can tell because his mouth is open. Oh and look, Michelle is back from Hawaii or Paris or Africa…I can’t remember where she was spending our money this week, the trips all seem to run together. I must say though, that is a beautiful Louis Viton dress she is almost wearing. I’ve seen strippers with more fabric on than that. Can you say attention whore…I know, I know that was racist.
I do have the decency to leave his daughters out of my rant, after all, I have daughters of my own. Just like his, mine are a product of the environment they grew up in, their faults are my faults and not any fault of their own. They proudly voted Republican…I have successfully raised two responsible, WORKING daughters that contribute to society…job well done.
Back to His Majesty’s S.O.U. address, I will give you the Readers Digest Abridged Version so as to spare you the nausea of actually listening to his Hitleresque diatribe on the condition we find ourselves in:
- It’s all Bush’s fault, or Phil Robertson’s…what’s the difference, they both cling to god, guns and that damn constitution.
- Millions of people are already benefitting from the Unaffordable Care Act, aka Obamacare, aka socialized medicine. (You can put lipstick on a pig…)
- The economic gap between the rich and the poor is growing. The rich are greedy money hungry ogre’s that need to be destroyed and their wealth distributed to my minority constituency so they can buy new cell phones and flat screen TV’s without having to work for them. (Reference Karl Marx on class warfare and the overthrowing of a government)
- If you disagree with anything the democratic (read; socialist) party does, it is because you hate me because I’m black. It would be different if you looked like Trayvon, then you would look like the son I never had…or don’t know about. (Yep I went there with no shame. Somehow he is more worthy because he looked like…well, black.)
- School children are being slaughtered by the thousands on a daily basis, so I am going to ban guns. Hell, I’m going to ban Luke Skywalker before he uses the force to choke somebody. Hollywood is exempted from this so they can make millions to pour into my campaign coffers.
- We have created at least 23 billion jobs and the economy is rolling because I spent astronomical numbers of dollars on sidewalks to nowhere and Solyndra. Don’t forget I bought out GM and Chrysler then gave them to my union donors because I am a nice guy. Fuck Ford, who do they think they are refusing to go along with my plan…they are obviously racists.
- I have single handedly saved us from global warming…sorry, climate change, by forcing GM to build the Volt if they wanted my(our) money. I realize that I have put thousands of people out of work in the coal business, oil business, natural gas business, and all the businesses that support them including that stupid little pipeline the rich oil mongers want. But that is a small price to pay to prevent an ecological disaster…did I mention that I created at least 23 billion jobs?
- My golf game has never been better. Whoops, that wasn’t on the teleprompter.
- We need to raise taxes on the wealthy white racists who didn’t support my campaign so I can bribe more heroin addicts and rapists with worthless degrees like a BS in Sumerian Literature or a Masters in Peloponnesian Art to vote socialist…i.e. the “Occupy” rabble along with their Anarchist militant supporters. Bring me your poor, your destitute…even those that shit in public parks and as long as they vote for me and I will make sure the government spigot keeps flowing.
10. Lastly, I am working to give amnesty to 14 million potential socialist voters…err, I mean Hispanics. Whitey hates you as much as they hate me, so we need to stand together and take away their wealth. You scratch my back, I scratch your back and we all get a piece of the wealthy white folks fortune…without having to work for it. THAT is the American dream. No waiting in stupid lines to get citizenship, just an open border with super highways that lead directly to the government ATM…if you just promise to vote democratic.
11. PS. If you don’t give me what I want, I will pitch a fit and use my executive powers to go around the congress and to trample on your precious little constitution…PERIOD. Beer summit anyone???
Hey, you forgot to put the MLK quote in there…get me a new speech writer…and make the letters on the teleprompter bigger so I can read them. Good night America…Allah Akbar.
There you have it, the State of the Onion in five minutes, far less painless than listening to The Beloved Leader speak. Probably far more honest too. Oh to hear what our C.O.C. (Community Organizer in Chief) really thinks. Judging from the people he has chosen (or chose him) to surround himself, I would guess that I am not too far off the mark. Bill Ayers, terrorist extraordinaire, Reverend Wright, white hater of the month…over and over again, Jesse Jackson (and his felonious son), Al Sharpton; King of the race Baiters, and don’t forget his own wife who is ashamed to be an American. His politics and policies speak for themselves.
He can blame the rich white racists all he wants and his ignorant constituency will lap it up like cats at a bowl of milk. But the truth is in the facts, not his rhetoric, there is no economic recovery, there have been scant few jobs created and unemployment has gone down only due to the fact that millions have given up. The reality there is that he doesn’t really care because a significant share of his constituents don’t work anyway, so the people that worked weren’t people that would have voted for him anyway. No job means government crack and another potential vote. The ”Stimulus” has been a failure, with much of the money going to campaign donors and failed “green” businesses. The GAO stated that they cannot account for all the money that poured out of the government’s printing presses. I call that fraud.
The ACA (Unaffordable Care Act), which we had to pass to see what was in it, has proven to be the boat anchor on the economy that conservatives predicted it would be. That wasn’t hard, socialized medicine has been a failure both an economical and health standpoint everywhere it has been tried. Even the FRENCH said DON’T DO IT.
Millions more people have lost their coverage than have gained it. Millions more will lose their employer based coverage next year…93-110 million more. We already know that the number of senior enrollees far exceeds the number of younger healthier people who carry the bill. In fact, just as predicted they aren’t signing up at all, choosing to pay the penalty instead. This all means that we haven’t even seen the tip of the iceberg yet when it comes to the true cost of the Unaffordable Care Act. But the impact on America is far less important than their socialist ideology…and covering minority voters. Everything about the ACA has been a lie…PERIOD.
I say you can keep your ACA, your lies, and your socialist redistribution of wealth and I will keep my Constitution, Guns AND my doctor. If you want a more accurate State of the Union take the time to read the attachment below. I am not an economist by any stretch of the imagination. I just know that I have to be a lot more imaginative about how I stretch my budget in this economy. The elections are coming and we need to rid ourselves of this administrations poor economic and foreign policies before the Obama Anchor drags us all down.